Monday, August 23, 2010


So justice is swift.

I got the first hard-line rejection today.

On Monday morning. First thing. A really fucking pleasant way to start the week.

Someone felt compelled to respond to one of my "intimate messages" (But seriously, for fuck's sake- do they have to name it so fucking miserably?) with a "sorry. not interested. good luck."

Couldn't he have just ignored me like everyone else?

So my attitude is in the shitter. I'm apparently typing even harder than usual with my Shrek Fingers while trying to message people. Or give them 5 stars. Or "wink" at them.

Dignity need not apply.

Mo is doing swimmingly- she is now viewing it as a game, and she is being treated well with that attitude.

I have decided to just persevere.

Now THAT'S the spirit.

Stupid Cupid.

Sunday, August 22, 2010


So Mo has taken to okcupid like a duck to water. A begrudging duck to water, but she's swimming nonetheless.

She has endeavored to view 5 profiles a day, and message a few of them. She is responding to all of the messages she's received, except for the threesome one.

Her report is as follows: "Well, I'm fucking trying."

Well said, Mo. Well said.

As for me, I'm still trying to make myself try. It apparently is going to take some time investment. C'est la vie. I "expand winked" at a few people, none of whom responded.
And some people messaged me, and I had yet another self-discovery.

Apparently, I'm not less superficial on the interwebs.

Quite the fascinating social experiment, is it not?

Friday, August 20, 2010


So we did it.
We finally did it.

We popped the cork, and we perused the interwebs. And made our profiles.

And wow.
that was exhausting.

Here are our observations:
  • Putting it all out there can be DRAINING. And having one roommate breathing down our necks and saying things like "yeah, put twilight in there- that's FUNNY" was a reeeeaaal help.
  • It is OVERWHELMING. Everyone's profile seems vaguely the same- and they are in two buckets. Seemingly cocky, and seemingly psychotically depressed and lonely.
  • Champagne doesn't make us answer the questions LESS sarcastically.
Overall, its a lot to take in. If this is the way that our generation has set up the dating standard, we have really done ourselves a disservice.

As for the actual men, I chatted with one. He was in my "quiver". Yes I'm serious. That's a term they have. It was funny, because as we chatted, he mentioned that the people in his "quiver" were usually duds. I didn't have the heart to inform him that he himself was also in fact, a dud.

And another thing. We've ruined them. If I read about one more douchecanoe who likes to go the farmer's market or could make me a cup of tea, (*Brits excluded- CHEERS LADS) I'm going to throw a tampon at them all. For serious. The pussification of American men is nearly complete.

AHHHHH It just got worth it. I found one of my friends. And apparently, he likes rough sex. And thought it fitting to share this with the internet.


and now, I'll tease him mercilessly.

Which is what dating on the interwebs is all about.

Friday, August 13, 2010

and now, a commercial break

As with all successful projects, we procrastinated in starting this one.
We got home after work, and our various other commitments, and life stepped in.
It was brutal combination of recorded SharkWeek shows, (barf,) the So You Think You Can Dance Finale, and the newest episode of JerseyShore.
What potential romance could compete with all that?

But never fear, the champagne is still in the fridge, and we're still slightly lonely.
Our project will get some wings shortly.

ooooh.... great. Now wings sound awesome.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Butterflies and Bubbly

There is currently a bottle of California Champagne chilling in our fridge.
It's a gift from a wedding I attended last month, green and blue ribbons still tied around the neck of the bottle.
It serves a greater purpose now.
It's the champagne we'll be drinking for some liquid courage as we create our internet dating profiles.
You heard me.
We're trying
We've eached tried a dating site before, (I tried and Mo found a Catholic one.)
We only had mild success.

I, (Maggie,) created a profile while drunk on some fateful Friday evening when I had had enough. I thought that once I caved and signed up for online dating, despite all of my reservations, that I would love it. I was wrong. I resented every stinking moment of it. Every message from some 50 year old soured me more and more to the idea. And having to pay for it didn't sit too well with me.

Mo signed up for a Catholic one while she was in Washington State because she found a really hot British guy on there, (I mean who wouldn't.)

But now, the dynamic duo is together again in the same town, and we've discovered something: we still want boyfriends. (Just someone to snuggle with and get a beer with, for pete's sake.) So now, we're combining our yearning for companionship, our adventurous natures, and our oft-abused love for a good story to tell on the ultimate quest: romance on the interwebs.

We'll chronicle all of tales here.

All of the awkwardness, missteps, awesome dates, stolen kisses and near misses.

Wish us luck!